Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Why I don't want to be a computer engineer anymore

I know I promised more writing than I have delivered, and I still have plenty of stories to tell, so hopefully I'll get to it before it all becomes irrelevant and we're talking about E3 2012. However, for now I feel I should mention the most significant part of E3.

To be blunt, E3 made me rethink my entire life plan. Prior to this summer, I planned to drag my feet through 2 more semester, feverishly search for an internship with some big tech company, and make it through a third semester to complete my degree and go on to live a life of being a mediocre but high payed employee. Now, I'm not so sure.

One thing is clear. I want to work with video games. I'm 21, I don't think I'm going to grow out of them. The pay may not be quite as well, but it's certainly respectable. I have a long way to go, and I'm not really sure what I need to study and learn to make it there, but it's what I want to do with my life. For now, I'll probably stay in computer engineering at UMD but do a bit of searching and talking to some people smarter than I to see if I should finish out that degree or switch to some other major. I know very little about game design, but I have a strong programming background which should certainly come in handy.

Why video games though? Outside of the fact that they're fun.. I'm a subpar computer engineer. That is a fact. My grades are lower than average, and my grades are a pretty accurate representation of my understanding of the material. I was assured that it's just a matter of not giving up and studying harder, but I don't want to go into a field where I'm subpar. Even if I can make a living there and support a family, I don't want to be mediocre. I don't think I have a mediocre mind. It's taken years to admit it, but I'm rather convinced that my mind is capable of some amazing things. I feel like I have the ability to perceive certain things in a way most people can't, and that I can thrive in a certain field rather than drag my feet through it. I don't like the prestige and arrogance of the tech industry, but I'm in love with the playfulness and innovation of the gaming industry. I'm starting to think that's where I belong. That's the area in which I can hold a conversation, a debate, delving into details of the different elements that make up a game, and enjoy every second of the discussion.

I want to make games. If anyone reading this has any insight on how I can get from here to there, I'd be glad to hear it.

No comments:

Post a Comment